"I’d bill her for the $450 she owes you": Bridezilla un-invites bridesmaid to wedding after she spent over $1k on bachelorette party

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 10, 2023 6:00 PM EST

Weddings can be high-stress operations and brides are under a lot of pressure to put on the perfect wedding. But weddings are expensive as heck. The average wedding cake alone costs around $350, forget about the dress, the venue, and the food. It's enough to make you want to elope. But that's just on the couple's side of the equation. Being a wedding guest can also be incredibly expensive. If it's in a different area, you have to buy a plane ticket, then accommodation, then buy a dress or rent a suit. If you're going to a few weddings a year, you'll probably have to build it into your annual budget. I have a friend who's been to upwards of six weddings this year alone. I don't know how they're swinging it financially. 

That's why it's so stressful when things go wrong, like in this recent Reddit story about a nightmare bridesmaid situation. Read up below. 

Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AmltheAsshole u/Firm_Tomatillo_6320 17h AITA for cancelling my best friend's bachelorette party after she "fired" me as a bridesmaid Gonna try and sum this up the most I can. I am a full-time student so I am currently living off student loans and what little hours I can work outside of school. I have spent around $1K on my best friend's wedding so far. ($350 on the bridesmaid's dress, $350 on the flight home to attend the wedding as I'm away for school, and about $100 on the gift I sent for he
    via u/Firm_Tomatillo_6320
  • 02
    The MOH is currently very pregnant and having a rough time. She asked me to plan the bachelorette party. I agreed. I planned it perfectly and had it as a surprise. I messaged the other girls the plan. When they all agreed I went ahead and booked my idea. I spent (this is on top of the $1K I spent earlier) $400 on a limo to go bar hopping (the bride loves bar hopping) and I booked us a $700 AirBnB to crash in afterwards. As of right now the other bridesmaids did not chip in, this was out of pocke
    via u/Firm_Tomatillo_6320
  • 03
    About a month later I and two other girls got kicked from the bridal party group chat along with a paragraph from the bride saying we were no longer invited because we weren't "honouring her wishes" When asked, she didn't answer what she meant or what we had done wrong. Two days pass and she adds us back to the chat and apologizes saying she's just stressed, we all talk about it and made up. Yesterday same thing happened except this time I'm the only one removed with a paragraph going off on me,
    via u/Firm_Tomatillo_6320
  • 04
    messages me apologizing saying she's sorry for lashing out and that she'd like me there but not as a bridesmaid as it would make her "uncomfortable", and that I'm not allowed to wear the dress I had already bought as it's a bridesmaid's dress. I told her I respectfully declined as I couldn't afford another dress as I've already spent too much on this wedding and that I didn't want to make her uncomfortable on her big day. She then lashes out telling me I should just take more from my student loa
    via u/Firm_Tomatillo_6320
  • 05
    Tiny Shelter440 - 16h Aficionado [10] Something is missing here that kept you hanging in there in the first place. Has anyone ever told you what she meant by 'respecting her wishes' or her being 'uncomfortable'? When you 'all talked about it' the first time did anything make sense? Nevertheless NTA. Why is she comfortable spending your money on her party? Why are the others still comfortable being in her party?
    via u/Tiny_Shelter440
  • 06
    Firm_Tomatillo_6320 OP 14h ● Ah yes, I did not include this part, sorry! My bad. So the first time she messaged us, she didn't tell us nor explain what we were doing wrong. when we first all discussed it, she said she just had a moment of panic and stress took over, and she said things she didn't mean. The most recent time she had told me she'd be uncomfortable due to the fact we had a "fight" (the fight was her just removing me from the group chat and then cussing me out) she never told me what
    via u/Firm_Tomatillo_6320
  • 07
    Environmental_Art591. 13h I have spoke to MOH since this post and she has said that bride told her she just didn't know how she felt about a "skinny" girl next to her at the altar... Maybe add this at the bottom. Oh and she isn't a friend she sees you as an ATM and accessory she can use at her convenience
    via u/Environmental_Art591
  • 08
    Prior_Blood_6293 - 16h NTA. What I find funny though is that you planned and arranged the bachelorette party (which is basically only for the bride and her bridesmaids from what I know) (idk much so forgive me if I'm wrong on this) and then when she removed you as a bridesmaid you cancelled it (which you have every right to) and when she found out she went off at you and is calling you an for not deciding to continue to fund her party which might I add you wouldn't even go to or participate in.
    via u/Prior_Blood_6293
  • 09
    floridaeng 14h ● NTA- OP as other posted I think you got lucky here. I doubt the others would have paid you back and the chances are that Bachelorette party was going to be problem for many. Some how I'm thinking if this Bachelorette party had actually happened the bride may have ended up cheating on her fiance during the bar hopping. She seems to be very self centered and I can just see a post where "it's my last party as single so I'm going to do what makes me feel better and find some guy for
    via u/floridaeng
  • 10
    MOVE Robbes_Watch - 16h KRUB Partassipant [2] ON NTA. I'm surprised your other friends didn't seem able to fill you in as to what made the bride change her mind about you, seeing as how you seem to have no clue (even though you asked). Very weird; let us know if you find out the back story. I think anyone who tells you to take your student loan money and spend it on her wedding is super self- centered and not a friend. Moreover, she sounds ignorant about how borrowing money and paying bills and
    via u/Robbes_Watch
  • 11
    Isopropyl77 16h Aficionado [11] I feel like there's some missing, critically important information here... With the story you just told, which makes no sense, how can you possibly be the AH in this situation? No vote because I think material information is being withheld.
    via u/Isopropyl77
  • 12
    De-railled 15h I'm super curious as to what wishes were not being respected. Those aren't accusations you just throw out there., so maybe she had someone whispering stuff in her ears on the side? It feels like there are missing pieces to a puzzle but if OP doesn't know then I guess we will never find out.
    via u/De-railled
  • 13
    Nervous_Routine_870 • 16h Partassipant [1] ΝΤΑ So far, you have done the most work & had invested the most in the party (since they didn't pay you back). It seems like the bride is going back & forth with little respect for everything you've done. If you're no longer in the bridal party, and not even going to the wedding, you should get a refund for what you can. You should not be paying for something you're not even going to be at.
    via u/Nervous_Routine_870
  • 14
    vt2022cam • 16h Pooperintendant [54] NTA - she's not your friend and she ruined her own wedding by mistreating people. Actions have consequences and she's learning what those are. You dodged a bullet. Looks like they all would have stuck you with the cost of the bachelorette party. Expecting you to use your loan money to help fund her wedding fun is terrible.
    via u/vt2022cam
  • 15
    SevEff44 16h Jeez. A significant percentage of AITH posts involve weddings. Bridezillas, hijacking for engagement or birth announcements, infidelity, hookups, "wedding of my dreams," monsters-in-law, budgets... Makes big weddings seem like a terrible idea!
    via u/SevEff44
  • 16
    ColdstreamCapple. 16h Professor Emeritass [76] ΝΤΑ How old is the bride? Sounds like a toddler with all the temper tantrums I'd bill her for the $450 she owes you and good luck to the future partner.....they are going to need it!
    via u/ColdstreamCapple
  • 17
    mycatsitslikeppl. 16h Partassipant [1] ΝΤΑ You can probably resell the dress, especially if it's never been worn. You won't get back all your money, but every little bit helps when you're a poor college student (been there, it will get better eventually).
    via u/mycatsitslikeppl
  • 18
    m rocketmn69 • 15h Send her the dress as a wedding gift. Tell her you hope the dress lasts longer than her marriage
    via u/rocketmn69_

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

aita marriage wedding party bridesmaids bachelorette party reddit story am i the asshole wedding bridesmaid wedding dress reddit thread bridezilla Reddit weddings money
Scroll Down For The Next Article